Being a mother and father at the same time, well.. it is not the case!

Deciding to be single parents seems to be your toughest decision you have ever made. It means you are ready to beat the challenges and face the consequences. You are going to have extra busy days to come. Then, you need to learn the way to make priority on your life. Perhaps, this sounds easy because you have learned to prioritize something at school or college. But, you face different situation and responsibilities. You have no spouse to talk about your kids’ education and behavior. For some people, this makes them to think that they can act and be mother and father at the same time. Well, actually that is not the case. Mother has her own rules in a family and so does father. They are not interchangeable or be able to replace.

There will be a time when your kids want to have a male or female figure at home. What to do then? Having dates does not seem to be good option. Make sure your kids are getting closer to their uncle, aunty, grandma, and grandpa. Indeed, they cannot replace the existence of father or mother. But, at least your kids know more figures in the family. It is common to see a father who feels very hard to explain his daughters about female issues and gender. Aunty and grandma can be the person who may be easier in explaining such a case.

Since there is only one parental figure in the family, you have to be ready when your kids start to ask you about another figure. Of course, don’t be panic and frustrated since it is normal. The kids deserve to know why you become single parent and what you have done so far to raise the kids normally. If you have some difficulties, you may go online or go to your surroundings to find the support group for single parents. This is where you can discuss and find solution towards your problems.

Be available for your children

Starting to live as a parent will make you feel very happier than before. You are going to see many different things everyday and be surprised when your children have new achievements. It seems that the feeling cannot be described fully simply because there is no word can describe the happiness of being parents. But, it is not enough. You need to increase your parenting skills gradually to make sure that you treat your children well.

What some people do is remembering their childhood period and applying their parents’ parenting methods to the children. Well, it is not relatively true because the era is different. Some methods can be applied but some others cannot. If your parents are always beside you and present on your special events, you need to do the same to your children. Yes, you should be available for your children although you feel that you are busy and have hectic days.

Available does not mean that you accompany them watch the favorite TV program or read story book before sleeping. It means that you need to spend enough quality time, so that your children feel that they are important to you. Try to smile and happy in front of them although you have bad day on your office. Your children will not care whether you have good or bad day. They will not understand your work difficulties and problems. What they need is the same smile and affection from you. Indeed, it is impossible to be available all the time, but good time management will save both of you and keep the bond between you and your children.

Parenting the toddler needs cooperative and coordination

You must be very happy for having such a lovely toddler. She is the adorable one that you want to kiss every time. In parenting your toddler, you and your couple have to be in the same path. It means you have to apply the same parenting mode and style. Some people think it is impossible because mother and father have different characters and style. Applying the same ideas and methods seems to be impossible.

Actually, it is much possible and easy to apply. You need to discuss many things with our couple from the simple things until the more complicated ones. For example, you and your couple need to be cooperative in handling your picky eater toddler. Many toddlers avoid vegetable on their diet and choose to have sweets and chocolate. To face this situation you need to be cooperative with your couple that both of you will eat vegetables in front of your toddler. She will look at both of you enjoying the delicious veggie. By doing this she will gradually follow your habit. Sweets and chocolate can be given once or twice in a week, or as a gift when your toddler has done noble things. You and your couple have to follow the rules which have been agreed before.

Once you or your couple breaks the rules, she will understand that the rules are breakable. Even the simple things like saying “thank you” and “sorry” need to be put in the rules. Both of you have to explain when and why she needs to say these words. Moreover, discuss the parenting style and ideas seriously, so that both you will find the parenting formula applied for your toddler. Besides, you need to plan the proper rewards and punishment as the consequences. Also, do not forget to inform your parenting style with the toddler’s aunt, uncle, and grandparents. By doing this, you have started to invest something good for your toddler’s future.

Being your teens friend is a good option

As parents, of course you cannot have total control on your children especially your teens. You need to work and do other activities. If you are too busy and cannot manage your time for the family, you are the one who will get the disadvantages. In this stage, your teens need you more because they are on the transition era from the children to the adult. Being teenagers makes them need more support and mentoring. Remember the time when you were teenager and how your parents treated you. Today, you have to promise yourself that you are going to be better than your parents.

Then, what you should do? A good option is being your teens’ friend even their close friend. If you think it is impossible, you are wrong. Being your teens’ friend is possible as long as you have good communication skill. Why don’t you go online and see what films do the teens like nowadays? What books are popular? What topics are good? What songs are commonly sung? Who are the teens’ idols? What games are interesting? What sports are challenging? What clothes are trending today? And surely there are many more questions. Those are the basic teens’ interest that you should know for the conversation topic. When your teens know about that, they will feel you are beside them and be their friends.

Most teenagers do not like to go or hang out with their parents. They feel it is not cool anymore. So, this is your duty to make hanging out become nice and cool. Why don’t you ask your teen and his friends to go camping on weekend? Or you can ask them to go to the nearest lake and fish there. Outdoor activities will be so lovely and make you tighten the bond between you and your teen. Additionally, you can also know your teen’s friends and communicate to their parents. Another plus of course! If your teen like cooking, ask her and her friends to drop by and enjoy the favorite family dishes. In this case, you have lots of ideas to make sure you are one of your teens’ friends.

Prepare earlier to parent your teens

Parenting the teens can be your new challenge after your children grow up. You will see many changes on your children behavior and way of thinking. You also need to gather more information about teen’s behavior and its issues. Ask your friends, read books and sources, go online, and even join the support group for parenting the teens. All of them will make you ready with the changes of your teens. Perhaps, some parents think that all of them are not necessary to do because everything will happen naturally. Well, in this case you need to know that parenting the teens today is far more different compared to a decade ago. What happens today is not the same as what happens in your teenager era.

That is the basic reason why you need to prepare. Another reason is what you have faced during your teens era is completely different with your teens’ era. Life is more complicated today and technology has developed significantly. It does not mean that you need to know the entire technology, but at least you know how to use and apply technology for avoiding your teens from its negative effect. Knowing technology means you can be in line with your teens. There will be interesting discussion and conversation, and even you may ask your teens to teach you something. This makes the bond between you and your teens become closer.

Preparing earlier means you are ready to fill the gap between you and your teens’ generation. You will be able to know what to do and behave to face the different behavior of your teens. You have to be ready in accepting reasons, making solution, and dealing with problems. Accept that your teens are half adult so they need to be treated as half adult also. If you have gathered information before, there will be no significant problem in parenting your teens maximally.

Be ready with your teens new behavior

Guiding and watching your children grow is such a bless for every parent in the world. It seems everything happens so fast until you do not realize that your baby now is a beautiful teenager. Many parents spend the time looking at the pictures and remember what had happened few years ago. Yes, when your children have grown into smart and active teenagers, you will be very happy and proud. However, you need to be ready with the new habits and behaviors of your teens. Some of them have new challenging hobbies and like to hang out with friends. Meanwhile, some others seem to be more uncommunicative and have their own world.

Basically there is nothing wrong with those teens behavior. But you are supposed to control them to avoid the negative behavior and activities. It is important for you to think positively and see your teens’ actions from positive point of view. For example, you do not have to be panic when your teens like to hang out and go home late. Hang out means they learn to communicate and be a part of the community. They are among the others with the same hobbies and interest. As long as they do not behave negatively such as spend too much money for hang out or start drinking alcohol, you should not be too worry.

There will be a time when your teens will go home late. At the beginning, you must be very worry and perhaps think something negative happens on your teens. Try to text your teens once to know the reasons. If they reply your text, you can be calm down. At least you know that they are fine. But, you are not supposed to call or text them many times because they may feel you interrupt or disturb their activity. Remember, teenagers commonly start to be friend oriented, not parents oriented. They start to be shy to hang out with you. Understand this situation and make sure you keep having good communication with your teens.

Spend more time with your ADHD child

It is normal for parents who have ADHD children to feel sorry. They may be frustrated at the beginning. However, it should never happen too long on you because you are the only person your child needs to rely on. Your struggle should be started as soon as possible because your child needs immediate treatment. Besides taking her to the doctor, psychologist, and special schools for getting ADHD treatment, you also need to know what to do at home. She will spend more time and do lots of activities with you. After several times you will feel that your life is not that bad. You will get accustomed with the routine and timetable.

Spending more time with your ADHD child means you are on the way to increase your child self capability because you always monitor each step she does. Also, you will keep stimulating and talking to her. Regular stimulation will keep her on treatment even when she is going to bed. Indeed, sometimes you will have difficulties in taking your child to bed because she does not understand yet about sleeping time. Daily activities such as playing games, bathing, eating, watching movie, and others can be the tools for her training and treatment.

Home treatment has the possibility to work more because the trainers are the persons who love your child unconditionally. During dinner, you can guide her step by step the way to eat properly. Your couple can be your partner who will add something you miss. After dinner can be the movie or reading book time. The warmth in the family is surely the powerful treatment of your ADHD child. There is a time when your child will get cranky. It can be an expression of boredom or asking attention. Keep calm and analyze the source quickly to determine the treatment soon. Again, spending more time with your ADHD child will be much more meaningful for you and your child.

Avoid anger in handling cranky toddler

Where ever and whenever you go with your toddler beside you, both of you will be the people’s attention. They love to see cute toddler especially the ones with good behavior. But of course, you will feel that educating your toddler to behave nicely is not easy task. Many times she will be a little bit cranky and does not want to communicate to you. It is relatively normal and happens in many families. Commonly, parents will got angry and panic when everything does not work as what they have planned before. Being angry is the biggest no no in parenting your toddler.

If you are angry, your toddler will automatically think that anger is the correct way to solve problems. Your toddler is getting cranky perhaps because she cannot express what she wants. Her vocabulary is limited and she does not know what to say. So, she gets frustrated. What you are supposed to do first is giving a big hug and talking calmly. Say your words one by one to soothe her feeling. In case she keeps yelling or crying, you should keep silent. Your toddler will slowly finish her crying.

However, if she gets cranky because of asking something improper such as too many sweets, toys, and others, it is better for you to try to switch her attention to something more educative or her favorite items. This may work for several times. In addition, you need to be consistent. It means when you say no for certain things since they give negative effects, you have to keep say no. Once you say yes, your toddler will get crankier. Giving time out will be fine and you will see how it works after applying for several times. It does not mean that you are doing something bad, but you are on the way of educating your toddler. Keep being positive and of course, no more anger.

New challenges with ADHD children

Your life will be filled with new challenges after you know that you are raising children with ADHD. If other people think that ADHD children are a kind of disaster, you should not think that way. Keep in mind that your children are not odd or stupid. They are energetic, positive, talented and smart in other way. They are more than other children. If you totally wrong if you think negatively about your children. They never want to live with ADHD condition. It happens because there is chemical imbalance in their body. Each child has their own ADHD types and level. This situation makes them difficult to control their actions and thoughts effectively. Sometimes, they cannot concentrate in doing something.

Since your children behavior cannot be predicted and sometimes uncontrollable, you need to maintain your physical and emotional condition. The important point is they have to keep busy the interesting activities. Of course, it is your task as parents to find something interesting for them. An activity which is interesting for other children is not always interesting for your children. Provide enough stimulus and motivation while they are doing the task. Your voice should be clear and loud enough. There is a possibility of misinterpretation of your instruction.

If your children are difficult to concentrate, manage the room or home setting properly, so that there are few distractions. Simple thing like the ticking watch can ruin the entire activities. Observe carefully so that you will find the items which are able to distract your children because it will be difficult to restart the activities once your children get distracted. After having one or two sessions, you and your child may take a rest. Have some tea and snacks and you can use this session for evaluation. In case your child does not have significant improvement, do not give up. Everything done by your child is the best. She or he has worked and tried hard to understand your command and do the tasks. Keep thinking positively and be patience because you are on your way to be better person through challenged by your ADHD child.

Steps to parent your ADHD children

After getting complete diagnose about your children ADHD condition, you need to start searching and learning about parenting ADHD children as soon as possible. There are some types and severe levels of ADHD and you should focus based on your children situation. Many parents feel uncomfortable at the first time and also lose their confidence. Some of them seem to hide their children condition and pretend that everything is fine. Actually, you are supposed to tell your family and neighborhood about this. They are the nearest persons who need to know your children’s condition, so that they can support you. This is the most important thing you need to keep on your mind.

Then, keep thinking positively so that you are able to apply effective ADHD parenting methods. You are supposed to spend more time with them. This increases the bond between you and your children. Try to do simple physical activities to keep your children health. For example, you can walk in the neighborhood, play catching the balls in the backyard, water the flowers, or jog in the morning. If the weather is bad, simple indoor exercises can be done. There are various healthy and fu physical activities can be done at home. But, you need to avoid playing a game with lots or complicated rules. The target is your children can understand the basic command and words.

Since your children should grow with ADHD, it does not mean that they have limited opportunity to get success. It depends on you whether you give the opportunity or not. Giving a simple responsibility in doing something each day is the first step in achieving success. Your children will grow with more self confidence because of your trust. Furthermore, you need to keep more attention on the diet. ADHD children are forbidden to consume certain foods. They are supposed to eat more fresh vegetables and fruits. Some vitamins can be consumed based on the doctor’s prescription.