It is normal for parents to expect some improvements towards their children behavior, motor skills, and cognitive skills. For these reasons, they download materials, purchase books, give guidance, and stimulate the children maximally. On the children side, they feel very happy to know, see, touch, and experience new things. They feel very happy when they can do something new. As parents, you are recommended to always appreciate your children once they get new thing. Although their achievement looks simple and easy for adult, it is the result of high effort.
Mostly, parents will compare their children with other children. They seem to be jealous when other children can do something and their own children cannot. Remember, each child is unique and never be the same as others. Giving appreciation is the powerful support you can do to maximize their emotional growth. While you are expressing your appreciation, your children feel that they are doing something good and supported to do another better thing or behavior. The simple words like “thank you” or “pretty good” will make your children decide something right or wrong. Again, never underestimate what your children achieve or do. Simple steps, words, and acts mean something big and meaningful. Keep supporting and appreciating your children, so that they will be directed to keep doing good behavior which you want and expect.
However, sometimes your children seem to behave uncontrollable and do not want to follow your guidance. In this case, you need to be patience and not to be panic. Screaming or yelling will not help both of you at all. Remember, you are the role model of your children. If you want them to behave nicely, it is a must for you to do so. Once you are yelling, they will think it is allowed and normal to do. Yelling is not the antonym of appreciating. You teach nothing by yelling but you teach more things by appreciating. Guide your children passionately and surely give your appreciation when they are on the right path.
Many women and men cannot describe how happy they are for having adorable toddler. They are very proud and always want to do the best in parenting their toddlers. What about you? Yes, your entire world will be brightened with the existence of your toddler. But, one thing you have to note is you will face very tiring days. People with no experience in parenting the toddler will never believe that it is very exhausting. Why? It is tiring because you need more energy, more awareness, more speaking, more carefulness, more patience, and of course more works to do. Your brain need to work harder and more accurately than before.
After grooming your toddler in the morning, you are supposed to be ready for feeding her. Then, you will spend the day running after for her. If the weather is nice, you may ask her to play outside or take a walk in the play ground. There is a chance that she will be a little bit cranky. You have always to keep your eye towards her to make sure she is safe and does everything well. Since your toddler is supposed to be active, you need to think of the ways to avoid boredom. Once she gets bored, she will start crying and does want to follow your direction. Remember, you still have the household chores to do, right? What a totally exhausting day.
So, what to do then? Choose the activities that need less energy such as reading books or drawing. You need to prepare books, crayon, and drawing book. These two activities can be done by sitting in a couch. Or you can prepare small table for coloring and drawing activities. Another option is asking her to sing or memorizing a song. Indeed, this makes you speak more, but you do not have to walk or run around. Keeping your toddler active is very important, but you need to have a little time for having a cup of tea, take a rest for a moment, and do household chores.
In today’s world, no one will think negatively to someone who decides to be single parent. People will never judge someone simply because she or he is a single parent. Also, more people seem to be more supportive and help single parents when they need help. Meanwhile, there are some important issues that most single parents have to face, so that you can take these as consideration. First, you will be the one who is responsible to the household chores.
For the daily routines, such as cooking, cleaning the house, keeping the yard, and washing the dishes, there will be no significant problem. But, it will be a little bit difficult for single mother to deal with the leaking faucet or roof, changing the wallpaper, and even fixing the broken cabinet. They are considered as man’s job and very little women who are interested in handling those jobs. Hiring the persons to do these will cost some money. On the other hand, single father will also face difficulties when it is the time to deal with certain tasks associated to women’s.
Another issue is you need to find the best childcare for your children. It happens because you cannot take your children to work unless you work at home. Childcare equals to spending more money. Since it is only you as the income source, you need to be wise in choosing the best childcare. Automatically, financial becomes another issue you have to face. Try to manage your time carefully, so that you will be able to handle everything on your hand and be happy with your kids as single parent.
When you read newspaper or magazines, you should notice to the section which explains about teens and their world. It has to be done especially for you who have children and teens. Your children will be teens in a couple years to come, so that you have to start searching what happen to the teens lately. Of course, if you have teens, you are supposed to read more sources about teens’ world. The information will avoid you from getting trouble in parenting your teens. Mostly, you will compare your teens and your teenager era. Yes, basically teenagers are the same. They want to be recognize as adult and grow quickly, rebel the home regulation you have made, do not want to be restricted in doing something, fall in love, go dating, beautify themselves, dress like adult, etc.
However, the era is different. You cannot treat your teens exactly the same as your parents treated you two or three decades ago. So, you need to adjust yourself to make sure you are on the same path with your teens. One key that you never forget is having regular and qualified communication. Let them state their opinion towards certain matter and choose the things they like and want to do. As the role model for your teens, you need to have good communication with your parents. They will see how well you talk and how close you with your parents. Since you have been in the teens’ position before, it does not mean that you know everything about their world. Keep talking and discussing and be their friends. In case a problem appears, do not judge negatively before you think wisely and see the root of the problem. This is the way your teens will respect you.
If you have personal problem that turns your life negatively, try to solve your problem as soon as possible. Your life will affect your teens’ life and psychological side significantly. They should recognize you as positive person, so they will have positive point of view toward you. Remember, your teens will automatically look for you as the support base. You are the one who can be trusted by your teens.
Your lovely and adorable toddler will always make you surprised. She learns and creates new things every day. This makes you miss her so much when you have to go to the office or even to the grocery. Many parents explain that they even cannot concentrate at work because they remember the little princess at home and wondering what she is doing. Missing your toddler is normal but you should not act too much. The facts show that parents usually show their love and miss trough spoiling the toddlers. They do and buy whatever the toddlers say simply because these parents feel guilty for leaving the toddlers at home. This is completely wrong.
Loving is not the same as spoiling. Loving means you give what your toddler needs properly. When she does something good, she deserves to get rewards. On the other hand, your toddler should be punished when she does something bad. Reward and punishment should be balanced to make your toddler learn about good behavior as early as possible. However, it is forbidden for you to give physical punishment. It does not work at all to punish her. It will make her imitate what you have done to others. There are many educative punishments you can apply to your toddler.
Never feel guilty too much for punishing or timing out your toddler. These are the steps you will keep doing as the part of loving your toddler. Both you and your couple have to agree the systems applied at home. In case you hire a nanny, you need to make sure that the nanny has the same path with you in loving your toddler. No more chance for spoiling her because it gives negative result in your toddler’s future.
Although being single parents in certain culture is not considered as the good choice, the facts show that the number of single parents has risen significantly. Each person has their own reasons why they decide to be single parents. In your surrounding or town, you will be easy to see men and women who struggle to raise the kids as single parents. One reason that pops out lately is being single parent means you can decide good things for your kids yourself. No discussion or chatting needed to determine items related to your kids’ activities. You have your own right to control and educate your kids. For older kids, you can discuss and talk warmly about where to go this weekend, what sport activity to choose, why kids are forbidden to stay up late, etc.
Of course, it is not easy as it seems. Your kids will keep asking you about the existence of mother or father that is omitted in your home, especially when they are about 4-7 years old. This is the time when they start to compare the family with their friends’ at school. Surely, it will be your hard task to answer and explain the background and reasons. To ease the process, you should make sure that you are always available on your kids’ special moments. Be with them and read the story to increase the bond.
What you are not supposed to do is explaining the negative things about having complete family. For example, you tell your kids that having father is not really good due to some reasons. No!! It is totally and completely wrong!!! Your kids will not understand and keep questioning why and another why. In this case, you have to be positive and if it is possible you can take your kids to your brothers or sisters’ home. Or, visiting grandparents’ home on weekend can be done. This will make your kids have the feeling about family. Put their picture on the wall or on the desk to increase the bond and family feeling. There is nothing wrong of being single but make sure you do it positively.
Nowadays, it is more common to see single parents around the town compared to a decade ago. Both men and women have their own reasons before deciding to raise the children themselves. Whatever the reasons are, being single parents seems sometimes cannot be avoided. If this is your current situation, one thing you should have is positive way of thinking. Your mind and behavior have to be positive because you are the only role model for the children. As the one who will guide and love your children, you cannot make mistakes. Of course, this is the real challenge you have to face every day.
In addition, you need to work hard and earn enough money. Financial issue is getting more complicated for single parents because they cannot share the financial responsibility with the spouse. Single income you have should be able to cover the entire needs included education, health, and insurance. Some single parents do not think this as real problem because they create some financial sources through working in an office, selling some products online, making home products, etc. The key is creativity and keeping the sprit. Do not forget, you need to be smart shopper in getting your daily needs.
Another thing you are going to face is you will be the one who is responsible in doing all household tasks. Indeed, you can handle certain tasks like sweeping the floor, or dust the window to the older child. But, you cannot distribute the tasks like paying the bills, keeping up the yard, and cooking the meal. The point is you need to be healthy, so that you will have more energy and power to be single parent. If this is your choice, make sure you decide it wisely and comprehend the challenges.
Knowing that your children have to struggle with ADHD can make you get frustrated. You will feel that you are going to face very hard days, months, and years to come. But do not let your frustration affect your daily life too long. You need to move as soon as possible because your children need you more. If you are frustrated, there is possibility that your children will suffer more than you. So, make positive commitment with your couple to parent and educate your ADHD children maximally. This makes you be stronger and more confident to face next challenging days.
The first weapon you must possess is patience. Your children will not directly do what you just said. Their brain needs more time to process your words. Without enough patience, you will easily get angry and give up. You cannot be angry because actually your children do not know their ADHD condition. Moreover, try to speak in simple vocabularies and clear pronunciation. No yelling and screaming because it tends to make your children become confuse. Since you have special children, you should not set too high goals each day. Everything has to be done step by step.
In addition, sometimes you need to apply a kind of time out to discipline your children. Indeed, both of you will be in unpleasant situation, but it is needed to set foundation for your children’s future. They need to have good habit and behavior. You may consult to the expert and discuss with your couple about the home rules and timetable that is suitable for your children’s age and capability. Timetables will remind both of you about what to do. Be consistent and be proud when your ADHD children can achieved something new. Your tough parenting days will be paid off with happiness.
Being a good parent is a must. Unfortunately, there is no school, academy, or education institution which teaches you to be a good parent. Even, there is no single parenting subject that you can pursue through formal education system. The parenting skills most people have are gathered from the experience and relied on their intuition. These facts make each person apply different parenting methods based on what they think as good ones. Of course, this is not relatively correct. What you think is good for your children do not mean good on your children point of view and needs.
That makes you start to realize the importance of learning parenting skills. Some people start learning when they are expecting the baby, while some others learn at the same time they raise the kids. Both of them are good although learning as soon as possible is considered as the better one. The reason is you are going to interact to children and teens in your family. During Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday, you will meet the entire family member and perhaps interact with the children. You need to know how to start talking, communicate, play with them, and even handle the spoiled ones. Never think that learning parenting skills is useless since you have no children yet. Learning earlier makes you have wider knowledge and good sense and empathy towards children.
By doing so, you will realize that parenting is full time or more than full time job. It looks easy that it seems. Many parents make mistake in parenting their children. Learning earlier will avoid you from making the same mistakes and recognize the mistakes. In case you already make mistake, you will be able to accept the mistakes and surely learn from the mistakes. Therefore, there is nothing wrong to buy books, read sources, and go online to know more about parenting skills and methods from now on.
When people are talking about affection, they have already known the meaning and surely believed that they have given and shown enough affection to their children. However, all of them are not relatively true. Affection basically can be described as the feeling of owning that is completed with love. You will precisely say “yes” or “sure” when another people ask you about your love to your children. What about the affection? Perhaps you will also answer “yes”. But, how do you show your affection to your children? Do they feel that affection? Is that enough?
Showing affection is a must to do because your children will constantly do and search the ways, so that you will love them always. Most parents will think that giving affection can be done by kissing, saying good morning, helping them in their daily activities, taking them to play ground, purchasing various toys, and many more. Yes, all of these examples are correct. But remember, you have to do it with the whole hearted you posses. Your children will feel whether your affection is natural or a kind of obligation from parents to children. You cannot lie or pretend to be full of affection to them. It means your affection should be derived from the bottom of your heart.
What happen if you show a fake affection to your children? There many possibilities toward this matter. Probably they will search other people to be loved such as grandma, nanny, aunty, or others. Or, they will pretend to behave negatively just to get your attention and affection. They will not do what you say or tell them. Based on these examples, you have no choice except showing your sincere affection to your children as much and as early as possible.